I Got Soul [entries|friends|calendar] mo0k [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[14 Jan 2008|08:30pm] It should be more important to want to learn than to want to go to a good college. It should be more important to find a profession you love than to find one which pays a high salary. Life really is short, you know. Making a lot of money can only bring you so much satisfaction, and like they say, you can't bring any of it with you. Now, with the oldest generation soon to be comprised of mostly “baby-boomers”, the same generation which played host to the cultural revolution of the 1960s, how is it that there has been no value shift? Are the ex-hippies and beatniks really that willing to become their parents? Our generation will not turn out that way. We will not become our parents. With us, the racism will stop. The needless war and pointless money grabbing will cease to exist. With the Internet, we are more connected than any other generation in the history of man kind. We can send each other messages instantly all over the world. If we decide that as a generation we want change, than change is what we will get. We will not happy to fall in the pattern set for us. We will refuse to move in to a tract houses. We will not have two and a half kids and a dog. We will never dedicate ourselves to working long hours for a company that we do not care about, and which does not care about us. We are not destined to be cubicle dwelling establishment contributors. Those not of our generation claim that we are selfish. That we are willing to lie to get what we want. That our sense of right and wrong is askew. Fuck that. We know whats up. We just have to wait until it is our generation which comprises the very corporations that many of us hate. We will have to bide our time until there is no longer an establishment which we do not control. Life is short for a reason. We will bring change. ♪♪♪♪♪

[28 Sep 2007|07:09am] [ mood | bleh ] [ music | temptation - new order ] the days keep coming faster and the weeks speeding by. at this rate, school will be over in no time! LIBERATION IS NEAR. 1 ♪♪♪♪♪

[01 Aug 2007|01:33am] I have a problem with thinking about things. I do it too much.  Most people arent worth the time I spend thinking about them, but even though I know that i (in this case, literally) shouldnt loose sleep over It, I do. Even though I know its stupid to dwell on something that I am actually glad happened, I do. I dont have the need to have everyone like me, as a matter of fact I dont really give a fucking shit about what most people think... or dont think for that matter. I just have that kind of a personality. Its good that I realized that I guess. My senior picture is getting taken tomorrow. One step closer to leaving. Even though school is now decidedly less pleasant, I still dont hate it. I'm just over it. The whole high school thing, with the drama and all the other bullshit that in terms of the rest of my life is so completely irrelevant.  I dont care about it anymore, its just a waste of time. I feel bad for the people who spend so much energy on high school relationships. If I have learned anything its that true friendships are not ones you have to tend to and spend time on, thats all bullshit.  Being nice to people for the sake of being nice gets you nowhere but frustrated. I used to always hate it when people said shit like "DONT TRUST ANYONE" or whatever, but now i see where it comes from. People who you think you know and you think know you end up being just like every other asshole eventually. the people who dont deserve always get. the people who do the worst jobs always get compliments. the bitchiest people always get favors. having the mental capacity to acknowledge that that is in fact what is going on is nice though. it must suck to measure out your friendships in terms of the amount of parties you go to with the person. i have a theory that those people who think books are lame and get drunk and throw up on themselves all the time are the same ones who drive hummers and think global warming is a liberal myth. mr. nomachi is right. darwin was alllll wrong. ♪♪♪♪♪

[29 Jun 2007|09:12pm] [ music | the clash ] So tonight is Friday. I'm not getting drunk and going to some lameass party that I'm not having fun at. I'm not faking nice to people that annoy me. I'm just listening to music and just sitting around... and I am wondering what fucking took me so long to realize that doing this is what I like more. I really really enjoy hanging out with people that I actually like. I like knowing what I'm going to be doing. I like seeing movies at the Laemmle and getting sushi. I dont feel the need to socialize with complete fucking retards anymore. People who say things like "THAT  IS SO GAY", and who in their book section on Myspace say things like "LIKE I READ LOL". Its like they opperate on a different frequency. I know that this summer is going to be my favorite one of highschool so far, and all I keep wondering is  - what took me so long!? 9 ♪♪♪♪♪

[20 Jun 2007|09:35pm] [ music | leela james ] one year from today I will be a highschool graduate who knows where he is going to college. WIERDDD. 2 ♪♪♪♪♪

[27 May 2007|11:39pm] [ music | ray charles ] happiness is such a relative term that its amazing to me that it is something that people think is a goal. there are those who live their entire lives trying to be happy and never succeeding, and those who realize that they have been happy all along. this might seem out of left field, but thats why buddhism always pisses me off. those people live their entire lives JUST so that they can be either reincarnated as something not that shitty, or to go to salvation. what the fuck. isnt that putting all your eggs in one basket? there is so much to love and so much to do and so much to see and so much to hear and so much to like and so much to hate, that I cant help but feel sorry for people who never get a chance to do things. When I was little and I used to get hot chocolate when it was cold outside, I knew it was too hot to drink it right away but I always tried to anyway. There were the kids who waited for it to cool down, and even those really lame ass ones who waited until it was like room temperature. Even though I knew that I couldnt really enjoy it yet, I always still wanted to taste it - just because I love hot chocolate and I also like drinking warm things when its cold. Sometimes I got burned, but other times it was fine and I realized that I didnt have to wait at all, and I got to start enjoying my hot chocolate first out of everyone else. That is what I remember happening the most. 2 ♪♪♪♪♪

[25 May 2007|09:33pm] i was already 14 once, and I dont have any desire to be 14 again. friends are like pens that you have to find when someone wants to give you a number over the phone. ♪♪♪♪♪

[20 May 2007|11:39pm] I hate not being able to fall asleep. I always end up creating these elaborate situations in my mind about things that are happening in my life, or things that I imagine happening. A normal person would fall asleep in that situation, but not me, because I have to see how the story I created in my own mind ends. It sucks.  Tonight, I started to think about how it must feel to be old and to know that you did not make a difference. Those people who go to WORK every day, eat their lunch at McDonald's and then come home in time to watch Wheel of Fortune and then American Idol, ending the night falling asleep in bed with the news on that they are not really watching because they don't have time in their busy lives to care about anything else. People who live their whole lives to get married and have kids, and do that. The time after that happens becomes them stalling before they die their early death brought on by their diet of high cholesterol and stress. My job has made me realize that there are more of those people in the world than one would like to think. I work with people who have two jobs. People with kids. People who never went to college because they decided to pursue their dreams. There is a women who sits next to me named Ade. She was a dancer in the 80s in Las Vegas, and even was in the move The Blues Brothers with Dan Akroyd and John Belushi. Now she calls people from 9-5 every day monday through friday to schedule them for focus groups. Ade is smart and funny, she works hard and cares about what she does. How is it that in this country someone with that work ethic, someone who has an above average ability to relate to other people, ends up at a job she has to take a bus to from L.A.? People like to think that they control their own destinies. If that were true, then there would be no janitors, maids, or phone recruiters at Adept Consumer testing. 1 ♪♪♪♪♪

[17 May 2007|12:16am] I can't decide which sucks more: That if i had stuck with livejournal instead of switching to myspace i would have a really cool documentation of my life i could look back on later, or that I actually think about things like that. 1 ♪♪♪♪♪

[31 Dec 2006|02:46am] Bye, 2006. So much happened this year, and I can only hope next year will be even better. It is so hokey and lame to talk about the year and what good stuff happened and all that bullshit, but its really sad that 2006 is never going to happen again, ever. The past year has been the most different year of my life so far. Everything I had been waiting for happened. I got my car and a job and my parents let me do stuff. I make the same wish every time I see 11:11, and its always for the future. No matter what happens, this year will have been one of the most important in terms of making me who I am as a person. I read back on my old livejournal entries and they are actually embarassing. How did I say all that shit... I am so different than that now. Its not a good thing or a bad thing, its just fact. High school is winding down for me and I am going to have to decide what I want to do within the next couple of years. When did that happen. Yesterday I was a 13 year old whining about homework, since when do I have to make important decisions that will impact me for the rest of my life. I dont want that yet. I dont want the responsiblity of knowing that what I decide is important. I just want to go to school. I dont know what im going to do when i have to leave CES.  I dont want to grow and meet new people. I hate new people. I hate growing. I love knowing everyone and being completely comfortable. All this growing shit is stupid. I know michael jackson is a lunatic, but I see where hes coming from with the not wanting to grow up stuff. Once you grow up, there is no going back. Im never again in my life going to be able to be that angst ridden 13 year old kid complaining about how his parents wont take him to the mall. I can never complain about not having any money because now if i dont its because i am not working. Its scary to think about. Next year at this time I will be 5 days from turning 18. 18. When did that happen to me. Since when am i one of the older kids. I did not get to experience enough of it. I wasnt pissed off for long enough. I didnt get to be rebellious enough. I want the time back. My only goal in life for myself is to be happy. That is it. Now, the pressure is on me to make that happen. I refuse to be another asshole working at a cubicle at  a job he hates to pay the bills. I wont waste my life away like that. I just want time to stop so I can figure out what I really want to do without the ticking of the clock going through my mind. I dont even write anymore. I do not like change. ♪♪♪♪♪

[26 Aug 2006|11:49pm] [ music | enon ] HEY NEWSFLASH all you fucking "alternative" people who think they are fucking the system or whatever by smoking cigarettes... all youre doing is feeding the corporate structure and furthering the sucess of mass conglomerates and one of the country's most evil and abusive industries... TOBACCO. if i see ONE more fucking idiot saying shit like "fuck the system" while smoking a cigarette, i am going to shoot myself in the motherfucking face. oh and i got a car. a 94 acura integra. his name is simon. he has 4 wheels, a good sound system, and thanks to the best purchase ive made all summer, a pair of white fuzzy dice. ps. AP work? haha? I havent ever worked my entire life. I didnt work in AP world and I got a 3. therefore i have determined that work is in fact unnecessary if you watch enough tv and sleep a lot. thats the only logical explanation i can really get. 2 ♪♪♪♪♪

[23 Jul 2006|10:23pm] [ mood | pessimistic ] [ music | the beatles ] havent updated this puppy in a while... some new developments include, but are not limited to: I now work at the Jamba Juice on the corner of Haybenhurst/Ventura I have a senile chemistry teacher named Mr. Gaughen (pronounced GONE), and have determined that there has never been a more appropriately named person I have not started any of my summer work. That isnt a new development really, its more of an update. Other than that everything has been the same. I miss livejournal. For some reason i never have anything to say on it anymore, which is strange. I used to update all the time but now i havent in over a month. I dont feel like i have less to say, i guess Im just not interested in sharing it. Of course that is probably helped by the fact that no one fucking uses this shit anymore. On a side note. If i ever see you and say "have a good day" and you dont even smile at me, i will kill you. Why? because if i killed a customer at jamba juice i would get fired, and i need the money. YOU, on the other hand, I would simply kill and leave your body out in the desert. 3 ♪♪♪♪♪

[05 Jun 2006|07:49pm] When I die will I have been happy with my life? Will I have wished that I had not gone to college and had instead worked and traveled around the world? Will I have wished that I listened more? Will I have wished that I had valued everything? There is absolutely no way to know. If everyone knew what they were going to wish they did, the world would be a much different place. There would be no one to drive the school buses, no janitors, no fast food workers. People are content to fall in to a system. Their lives are measured by how their kids lives are. How good their cooking is. What kind of (moderately priced of course) car they drive What complete bullshit. Fuck your kids, your car, and your cooking, and do what you want for yourself. Selfishness is a word that people throw around who are not happy with how they are living their lives. How can anyone expect anyone else not to live their lives the way that makes them the most happy all of the time. Calling someone selfish is the most selfish thing that you can do. People born in to money do not have money to yearn for their entire lives, so what to they do? They make porns and have fights with their ex-best friends. How does the public react? They eat it up. Everyone is so hungry to live vicariously through other people that everyone forgets that they can do anything they want themselves. I don't want to become one of those people. I don't want to care what anyone else thinks. I don't want to have to conform. I don't want to compromise. I don't want to submit. The sad part is that with that mentality, I'm more likely to wind up a homeless person then a millionaire. What can I do about that? Nothing. How will I know if when I die I won't wish that I would have just conformed and stopped complaining? I won't. But I can tell you that when that does happen, I will never regret anything that I did to make myself happy. 2 ♪♪♪♪♪

[14 Apr 2006|01:28am] want to know why im awake at 130 in the morning when there isnt anything good on TV? because when i try to sleep the realization that from the second you are born, you start to die and that no matter what you do your entire life, you cant avoid the fact that one day you will die and so will every other person you have ever met keeps me awake. the fact that every single minute that passes is one minute closer to when you die. that dying is universal. whether you shop at wal mart, abercrombie, or bloomingdales. is that weird that i do that? do people think about like, puppies and shit when they cant sleep? being realistic sucks. 13 ♪♪♪♪♪

[28 Mar 2006|06:04pm] [ mood | annoyed ] [ music | simpsons ] immigrating illegally is cutting in line. it doesnt matter what country youre from, if you want to come to this country and become a citizen then do what everyone else from every other country has to do, and apply for american citizenship. yes, it sucks that thats so difficult because of how hard it is to even obtain the application forms in many places, but that is NOT the united states' problem. immigrating illegally should be a felony, as should be the hiring of anyone who is an illegal immigrant. how can people come in to this country ILLEGALLY and then expect the rights of an american citizen. it doesnt fucking work that way. the immigration system exists for a reason, and the reason is not so people can ignore it. all the walkouts and the other bullshit is a waste of time. the only way to solve this problem is to modernize the countries people are running from, such as mexico, so that people actually want to stay there. other than that... tough shit. there is no such thing as a free lunch. BY THE WAY a walk out is when a group of students leave class to peacefully assemble at a given point of campus to discuss what they feel to be the issue at hand. it is NOT a giant ditch-fest. if you want to leave campus to do whatever fine, but dont call it a fucking walk out when that isnt what it is. 8 ♪♪♪♪♪

[07 Mar 2006|08:21pm] [ mood | calm ] [ music | fiona apple - not about love ] i was going to make a huge journal entry last night about how the governor of south dakota made it a state law that abortion is illegal unless the fetus is accidentally killed when the doctor is trying to save the mothers life but... thats all i have to say about it. im pretty sure that anyone reading this knows what my opinion would be, and anything else ill leave to your imagination. im failing math as of now. a 54%. ummmm woops? yea, it turns out im not a math person. there go my dreams of being a molecular biologist or... whatever other job requires algebra 2. the wierd thing is im not even upset really, because obviously ill pass the class for the final report card... and i hate math. its stupid and pointless and i resent the fact that im forced to take it. and no amount of "OMIGOD COLLEGE OHNO!" is going to freak me out, because i dont want to go to a college thats going to make me do math anyway. for the rest of my life after this year im going to do as little math as possible, because i fucking hate it, and im certainly not going to waste anymore time freaking out over it. i dont really care where i go to college, in all truth. im sick of buying in to the system set up for our generation. STUDY DO WELL IN SCHOOL GET GOOD GRADES SO YOU CAN GO TO A GOOD COLLEGE AND GET A GOOD JOB AND MAKE ENOUGH MONEY FOR THE GOVERNMENT TO BE ABLE TO MAKE A HEFTY SUM OFF OF YOU, HAVE A WIFE AND 2.5 KIDS AND A SEDAN AND DOG AND LIVE IN SUBURBIA, MAKE SURE YOUR KIDS DO THE SAME THING, THEN DIE. no, thank you. i think im going to decide what im going to do for myself. i know the whole fuck the establishment thing is a little bit outdated but... fuck the establishment. everyone needs to start giving themselves a little more fucking credit. the bar being set for us is so fucking high that you couldnt even reach it with a footstool. so instead of jumping and jumping and jumping... why dont we just realize that the bar isnt worth reaching in the first place. that there is more to life than moving along and doing whats expected of you. until then, im just going to do what i feel like doing. right now, thats listening to music and having american idol on mute except for when the judges critique them and simon tells them that their singing is worse than his face being torn off by a cheesegrater. 11 ♪♪♪♪♪

[26 Jan 2006|07:59pm] [ mood | annoyed ] [ music | the strokes - soma ] as the war in iraq (soon to become the middle east as a whole) continues, i cant help but ask myself a few questions. 1)What the fuck are we doing in Iraq in the first place? We invaded a country that we THOUGHT had weapons off mass destruction.THOUGHT being the operative word there. correct me if im wrong here, but you should probably know something like that for sure before you oh, i dont know, INVADE SOMEPLACE. you can say as much bullshit as you want about why they deserved to be invaded, the bottom line is that the reason our president gave us for the invasion was that sadaam hussien had weapons of mass destruction. and he didnt. which brings me to my next question... 2)What are we STILL doing in Iraq? ...i really dont know. our reasons for staying change more than bush's war records. i shouldnt say i dont know actually, because i do really. we are still there because we want a military position in the middle east because we deem it unsafe and unstable (the oil in Iraq didnt hurt our selection any). the lives of american soldiers are worth more than a stronghold in a country because we have a hunch that something might go wrong... or something. it would be one thing to invade, not find any weapons... then declare victory and leave. but we didnt. thousands of lives and a couple years later... what the fuck is going on. 3)What the fuck is with all the "we dont negotiate with terrorists" bullshit? Thats pretty self explanitory actually. Oh, we dont negotiate with terrorists? well maybe we should give it a fucking shot, because apparently what were doing isnt working. i cant think of a question for this so im just going to say it seperately. the sunnis and the shi'ites have been warring tribes for THOUSANDS OF YEARS, and we, the united states, for whatever reason we feel like pulling out of our ass, is going to "unite" then? who the fuck are we do unite THEM. were a 200 year old democracy, what makes us think as a country that we have the right or the expertise to go and completely change not only the social structure of a country, but fix thousand year old problems? there will never be a unified Iraq. it wasnt unified under sadaam hussein either, but the difference between then and now is that when sadaam hussein was in power american soldiers werent being killed by iraqi insurgents. If i hear one more person compare the sunnis and the shi'ites to democrats and republicans IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF. THEY ARE NOT THE SAME. the democrats and republicans disagree on political terms, THE SUNNIS AND THE SHI'ITES FUCKING BLOW EACHOTHER UP. not the same, not even close. honestly what troubles me more than anything else, is that i cant believe anything that this administration says anymore. the bush administration will say whatever they want to say, and fuck anyone who has a problem with it. shining example, have you ever heard bush say nuclear? "Nuke-you-lar". THAT ISNT HOW THE WORD IS PRONOUNCED. ITS NEW-CLEAR. thats how its spelled. sorry if im being picky, hes only the fucking president of the united states. the problem with that is someone has definately pointed out to him that hes mispronouncing it, he just doesnt give a fuck. its like bush is the president of a fucking fraternity. thats what the united states is to him, a frat house. if you dont like how he runs it, then get the fuck out. its gross, and if this country keeps spiraling down the way we are currently, the united states is going to loose its seat as the most powerful country in the world faster than bush can say misunderstood. 12 ♪♪♪♪♪

[22 Jan 2006|06:41pm] [ mood | tired ] [ music | theme from space island - !!! ] its sunday. i hate sundays. the fact that i know im going to have to wake up at a ridiculously early hour tomorrow so i can sit for 8 hours absorbing minimal information, only to come home and repeat that activity 4 more times, casts a severely dark shadow over a day which should logically still be good since its part of the weekend. why did my parents have to fuck up and not raise me to be able to settle with mediocrity. when our generation grows up and realizes that instead of having teenage experiences and doing the kind of stuff youre supposed to do, they were studying because they wanted to go to a good school and forfeited all the fun they deserve to be having, based on if nothing else their age, theyre going to be extremely pissed off. with all my dwelling on academic shit, at least i can say that im DOING THINGS. the system can fuck me in a lot of ways, but one of them is not going to be making me work so hard at highschool that i cant do anything else but worry about school. bottom line... its school. its not life. for some reason the fucking baby boomers (who fuck up EVERYTHING by the way) seem to think that by them convincing us that school is the most important fucking aspect of our entire lives, were going to turn out better and not drink all the beer, smoke all the weed, and drop all the acid they did. instead what theyve done is created an academic enviroment in which having straight As isnt enough. wtf?! HOW IS HAVING STRAIGHT As NOT GOOD ENOUGH. "because everyone has straight As"? IF EVERYONE HAS STRAIGHT As THEN EVERYONE SHOULD BE ABLE TO GO TO WHATEVER FUCKING COLLEGE THEY WANT. maybe if our fucking piece of shit moron president and all of his shit eating buddies would stop spending money on oh... wars for oil (more specifically wars for the interests of his oil company owning friends), we would be able as a country to accommodate the growing popluation of people who want to attend good universities, instead of just raising the bar to a basically unreachable height, so high in fact that it is actually impossible to reach that bar and also LIVE during highschool. only in america can a college "not be good enough" in most of the world people are lucky to be able to eat and have shelter, and we have the fucking nerve as a country to develop a stigma AGAINST certain schools because they arent good enough? its a fucking joke. ...well actually it isnt a joke. i wish it was joke. moral of the story is our generation should rebel, light all the schools on fire, burn all the textbooks, and then take over the government and rule the country through our myspaces. anyone with me? 11 ♪♪♪♪♪

[02 Jan 2006|12:46am] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | sublime ] three things: 1)2005 was cool. it sounds cliche but... holy fucking shit times going by fast. 2)i couldnt imagine living in any other place then where i am right now. i have those "i wanna move someplace else blah blah blah" moments once in a while, but seriously if i was in fucking like, nebraska right now, i would be so fucking miserable. 3)every single fucking person i saw last night is amazing. seriously. if youre thinking "no he doesnt mean me"... i do. i could not have imagined a better new years. 3 ♪♪♪♪♪

[14 Dec 2005|08:09pm] [ mood | complacent ] [ music | no doubt - open the gate ] ok first of all RENT SUCKED. what the fuck is everyone talking about. the only way it affected me was by taking my 10 dollars. for once i agree with roger ebert. any musical where one of the lyrics is "my T-cells are low" is questionable at best. i actually saw rent on broadway when i was there a couple years ago, and i liked it. but i guess that was because i was 13 and i couldnt tell what was going on. i know life is important and you need to live every second of it because you only get one chance. i dont need people dying of aids to convince me of anything. want to hear a REALLY sad story? how about the millions of africans who have aids from their parents, that grow up as orphans often dying extremely prematurely becuase they cant get any medication. or the people in sudan who are being slaughtered, mothers having to choose how their children are killed. when there are things in the real world going on like that, no group of people in new york are going to tug at my heartstrings, no matter how many songs they sing. anyway... time is moving really quickly, which is AMAZING but also bad. amazing because winter break is like... now. bad because it means that im that much closer to having to leave SOCES... which is bad. they seriously need to make a Univeristy of California SOCES. even now the thought of leaving is scary. actually i take that back, its not scary its sad. also, i stopped updating my lj? thats wierd. i used to update SO much. myspace fucking ate lj. ..survival of the fittest i guess. it speaks a whole lot about our generation. that we would all rather click on pictures and use as little of our brains as we possibly can instead of actually writing things. on that note im off to my myspace, i want to see if i got any new friends requests. 23 ♪♪♪♪♪

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